Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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