love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
