walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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