i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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