Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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