Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
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I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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