I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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