Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
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I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize