oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
