I accidentally burped into my bong.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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