he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
