ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
