remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize