I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
