I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
