what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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