It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
