haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
