she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
