I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
