carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
