I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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