God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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