She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
