My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
