No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
