his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
