Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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