where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
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Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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