Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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