She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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