i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
These tits shall not be calmed
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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