she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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