I want to walk on stilts...naked
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He felt like a one man threesome
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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