sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
did you just send me my own nude
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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