ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
