Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
