I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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