Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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