Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
