oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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