I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
