woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
