Don't you send me to vm
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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