Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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