know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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