This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
