even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
