If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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