This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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