currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize