i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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