Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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